Day 15 - The Shining

It's 7:30 AM in the morning. Out of bed, need a coffee to wake up. The sky is cloudy, everything is grey. Snow is falling, I'm thinking about what to write this evening, the snowfall gets heavier. I got writer's block, can't think of anything. Matthias is really stubborn, wants me to carry him up and down the stairs all the time, never climbs them himself. I try to educate him, carry him to the last stair and tell him he has to take only this single one, no way, he starts screaming and rather goes all the stairs back down than climbing this last one! We go outside to clear some snow from the garden, finally. One second I look away, only one second, and Florian takes the opportunity to throw a full shovel of snow into Matthias' face. I tell him off, must control the anger and aggression, the dark side of the Force are they. We play hide and seek in the attic. "Come out, come out, where ever you are. Heeere's Papa!" More tantrums from Matthias, aaah the noise, can't stand the noise, Oh my God. I must be losing my mind. Kids. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Afternoon, we go to Farbie's again, Matthias falls asleep, I have another coffee, the noise, the caffeine, I'm feeling on the edge. I miss work. Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill? Florian wants a muffin at Farbie's. "What flavor muffin do you want?" "Chocolate." "Then chocolate it shall be." Back home, Florian falls asleep in the car, I carry him into the house, Matthias wants me to carry him too, I can't, he throws another tantrum that lasts twenty minutes, then questions, aaargh all those questions, "it's name is Karl, number is 10, number is 5, name is Otto, yes poo is brown, yes brown poo is big, birthday was yesterday, number is 2, number is 7, Florian own's it, name is Mike, I own it, his Paul lives in Siberia, ..." redrum, Redrum, REDRUM! "Gottfried, I'm home!" 6:45 PM. Thank god, day is over.