Religion

Talked with Florian about religion today, since he got that as subject in primary school now. So I asked him what he thinks goes on in hell. He said that there is the devil. Ok, so what does the devil do, should you go to hell? Florian said he puts you in sauna but you can never get out. Alright, so what's the deal with heaven then? Florian said that God is up there. When I asked him what happens to people who go to heaven he replied that heaven is the opposite of hell, so he assumes God puts people in a fridge :) Given those two choices I guess I'd rather take the sauna...

Washing machine

Today I heard Heidrun scream in our cellar: "WHO DID THAT?!?!". I rushed down to see what happened. Well, one of our kids (the culprit will remain unknown I assume since obviously all suspects deny responsibility) had thrown a diaper into our laundry and we didn't notice. Now if you think that accicentally washing a handkerchief in the washing machine is bad then the comparison is like this: Washing handkerchief = pub fight, washing diaper = World War II. Those things can take a lot of liquid, but they can't handle a one hour program including a 1200 rpm spin cycle :). Basically it explodes inside and the outcome is NOT pretty. I hope our washing machine still works. After cleaning up the mess I didn't dare starting it up again yet.

Delay reading

Apart from delaying the ability to speak it's also advisable to delay reading. That's more difficult I suppose since there are institutions called schools that force children to learn this art. You might want to know why that's a good idea? Well go with child who has just learned to read through town. He'll read anything he sees to you and ask you questions. You might think: "Wow that is cute, how cruel that you don't want them to learn reading!". Well when you pass by your local playground that is also frequented by teenagers in their puperty, then you will notice that teenagers like to leave information about each other written with markers or spraycans that are hard to explain to a seven year old. So recently I had to somehow explain to Florian why "Sandra has smelly pubic hair, is a slut and likes to fuck everyone." Also why she would leave her mobile phone number on a swing so that everyone can call her. Anyway I guess the problem is not that Florian can read, but that Sandra can write ...

Präsidentenwa(h)len

Vor ein paar Wochen war Bundespräsidentenwahl. Es dauerte ziemlich lang Matthias klarzumachen, dass das nichts mit Walen (dh. Walfischen) zu tun hat, va. weil es ja eine Kandidatin der "Blauen" gab, die aber kein Blauwal war. Als endlich alles klar schien, kam der Clou. Am Abend als ich im Internet die Ergebnisse nachsah, fragte Matthias wer gewonnen hat. Als ich ihm sagte "der Fischer" begann die ganze Diskussion wieder von vorn :) "Welchen Wal hat der Fischer gefangen? ..."

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Today the kids played rock, paper, scissors. Then Florian introduced another variant which is carrot, rabbit, rifle (rabbit eats carrot, carrot stuffs rifle, rifle shoots rabbit). Now that really got Matthias' interest, so he started designing his own game. He called it gun, rabbit, deer. When asked for the rules it got interesting :) First we asked about deer vs gun. That was easy: gun shoots deer. Next was deer vs rabbit. Rabbit wins because it's so small that deer jumps over rabbit and rabbit disappears. Now what about rabbit vs gun? ... Thinking ... Well, then it is a draw. Florian and I both thought that this game actually has some issues since deer wins against no one. Matthias replied that deer wins against elk. Ok, so we added a fourth item to the list and started playing. Who would have thought that we all ended up choosing either gun or rabbit and the game wasn't that much fun after all ... Anyway every game designer started out small I suppose.

I'll be back

Actually I am back, with one more additional party member. Now we are starrring Florian 7 years old and first year at school (therefore with a language similar to Dennis Hopper in "Blue Velvet"), Matthias 4 years old and 2nd year in nursery and Sebastian "Basti" 20 months who is normally super glued to mom and therefore needing a little bit of adjustment to the new situation which normally involves crying and me bribing him with chocolate so he stops (I gotta stop this or I'll end up with Basti the Hutt). So instead of relaxing in the office and having manly talks during lunch time I am multi tasking at its best. Need proof that this is more work than your job? I already lost 1kg in two weeks!